Prose That Blows

Springfield student discovers shocking weight loss trick! (PtB10 entry – Stretchy)

Sandra eyed the strange garment cautiously, trying to figure out how the object she’d bought online for $175 was going to help her loose weight.  It had arrived in the mail that morning and sat in it’s box on the table for most of the day whilst Sandra contemplated sending back the overpriced onesie, after all, she reasoned, they were only $40 at the mall.  What made this one so special?

Finally, she had ripped the box open and removed the contents and it now sat draped across the back of one of the chairs.  She felt stupid – she’d been taken in by one of those ads promising near-miraculous weight loss, illustrated by photoshopped “Before” and “After” pictures and almost without thinking she’d clicked through and bought it.  It had been Fourth of July and in a fit of patriotism she’d purchased the Star and Stripes one but now it sat on the chair,  with the stars top right and the stripes running vertically down the body to the legs.

Having opened the box Sandra figured she couldn’t return it so there was nothing left to do but try it on so she removed her jeans and t-shirt and stepped in to the onesie, pulling it up her legs and over her overweight stomach, she pushed her arms in the sleeves and did up the zip.

Sandra looked down at herself – as she suspected,  the garment did her plump form no favors but she thought the vertical stripes may give an illusion that she was a little thinner.  She decided to take a look at herself in the full-length mirror in the bathroom.  As she ascended the stairs there was a faint hiss from somewhere near by.  Entering  she looked at the mirror and was shocked at what she saw – not only did the optical illusion not appear to be working, she looked even bigger than normal!

“If this thing is supposed to help me loose weight I’d better get a benchmark figure.” Sandra said to herself, stepping on to the digital scales.  She tried to look down at the numbers but found her first her boobs then her stomach was blocking her view. ‘Weird!’ she thought.  “I know I’m a bit overweight but this is new!”.  She leant over further so she could see the display: 283lb.  ‘Odd – I’m sure I was 284 the other day.’ she thought.  Then she heard the hiss again, louder this time and she watched the display as is ticked over to 282lb.  She checked herself out in the mirror again and her jaw dropped!  She had visibly grown larger – her boobs had gained several cup sizes and her hips at least 9 inches!  She stood there, open-mouthed for several seconds, trying to make sense of it all – she seemed to be getting larger, yet lighter at the same time.  Then the hiss came again and she watched in horror as her reflection grew a little more – another cup or two  and a few more inches on her waist.  Looking down at herself confirmed it wasn’t a trick of the mirror – she also noticed the scale was now reading 281lb!  The hiss continued and  she looked at her expanding form and realized that she was in danger of out-growing the doorway – she had to get out to somewhere with more room!

She made it out the door with only inches to spare and as she hurried down stairs she struggled with the zip of the onesie, figuring it had something to do with her sudden expansion.  It was no good, however, the zip was jammed!  All the time the hiss rang in her ears and she could see her chest rising like dough in the oven as her curves grew to unimaginable sizes.  Sandra figured the best place for her would be the back yard so she squeezed her inflated bulk towards the Dinning room – less than a minute had passed since she’d left the bathroom – she’d cleared that door with ease but the Dinning room door was another matter – due to her continued inflation she was easily six inches wider than it!  Despite that she flung herself at the doorway, believing her salvation lay beyond it.  She felt the door frame dig into her sides as she forced herself through the relatively narrow space but after a few seconds pain she made it through, knocking over a chair as she burst in to the room.

Sandra was grateful that the room had double-doors to the yard.  She pushed her way past the remaining chairs, overturning another one as she did so.  The hissing sound was louder now.  She had to get out, attract someone’s attention and get them to cut off this accursed garment.  Her bloated form collided with the double-doors to the yard, the impact making the two doors swing open and she thrust her near-spherical body through the opening, banging her head on the lintel as she did so.  ‘Have I gotten taller too?’ she wondered, rubbing the spot.

Now in the backyard, she looked at her reflection in the windows.  She was, by her best estimation, seven feet tall and her body was now almost a perfect sphere – her boobs having been consumed by the rest of her.   She noticed her perspective rising as she grew taller and gasped in horror as she felt her arms and legs start to be absorbed by her swelling mass.  The hiss was louder now and she was inflating faster – 9 feet, 10, 11 – she felt what should have been her backside touch the floor meaning her legs had all but gone.  Somehow the onesie still fit her, reshaping and remolding itself to accommodate her new figure.

12 feet, 13, 14 – now she could see in the windows of the upper floor of her home.  15,  16,  Sandra found she could move her feet a little and discovered she could waddle around a bit.  It felt strange though, as if she was lighter, despite her increased bulk. Someone would surely see her soon and come to her aid!  17, 18, 19 feet – she was now eye-level with the roof but still grew on, the feeling of lightness increasing.  ‘Where were the neighbors?’  Then she remembered – one side was empty after the bank had foreclosed and the others were away in Florida.  She was alone!

Then, as she reached 21 feet across, she felt the ground fall away, or rather, she left it behind!  She was now lighter than air and was floating!  Still she grew – 25, 30 feet. And as she grew, she rose in to the air.  Passing through the cloud layer in a matter of seconds she entered the sunlight sky.  40 , 50, 60 feet.  She was rising faster now, feeling the wind whistling through her hair, the entire lower portion of her vision was filled with her massive body, covered in the American Flag.

As she passed 10,000 feet high she mused ‘Well, I did loose weight after all!’

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